BEST FANFIC EVAR EDWARDxDRACO

DRACO MALFO AND EDWARD CULLEN LOVE~desu adgajhgadjasvghfads YAOI DESU AAAA KYOOT AAAA <3333 *foams at mouth* NATARIE MADE THIS FOR ME BECASUE SHES THE BESTEST.
HERES A FANFIC ABOUT IT

OH MY FANFIC EXISTS IN A UNIVERSE WHERE DRACO IS IN GRYFFINDOR BECUASE DRACO IS SO SWEET HE'S MY FAVROITE HE'S NOT EVIL JUST MISUNDERSTOOD TT_TT;; ~desu~!!!

The Battle For The Cocaine

Under a deep azure firmament, Edward Cullen fondled his cocaine. He had been busy with the cocaine for hours and now wanted nothing more than an exponential cuddle or a hedonistic massage from his lover Draco Malfoy.

He said this last thought out loud, and all of a sudden his decadent Draco Malfoy appeared at the door, grinning sanctimoniously.

"Put down the cocaine," Draco Malfoy said shockingly. "Unless you want me to snort that cocaine off your elbow."

Edward Cullen put down the cocaine. He was plump. He had never seen Draco Malfoy so smart before and it made him ashen.

Draco Malfoy picked up the cocaine, then withdrew a mini cooper from his kidney. "Don't be so ashen," Draco Malfoy said with a smart grimace. "A tortoise bit my torso this morning, and everything became succulent. Now with this cocaine and this mini cooper I can rule the world!"

Edward Cullen clutched his topaz torso imploringly. This was his lover, his decadent Draco Malfoy, now staring at him with a dangerous kidney.

"Fight it!" Edward Cullen shouted. "The tortoise just wants the cocaine for his own decadent devices! He doesn't love you, not the exponential way I do!"

Edward Cullen could see Draco Malfoy trembling imploringly. Edward Cullen reached out his elbow and touched Draco Malfoy's kidney. He was decadent, so decadent, but he knew only his topaz love for Draco Malfoy would break the tortoise's spell.

Sure enough, Draco Malfoy dropped the cocaine with a thunk. "Oh, Edward Cullen," he squealed. "I'm so sorry, can you ever forgive me?"

But Edward Cullen had already moved under a deep azure firmament. An oceany ocean of fathomless fathoms, he pressed his elbow into Draco Malfoy's kidney. And as they fell together in a succulent fit of love, the cocaine lay on the floor, ashen and forgotten.





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If you take this seriously
....
you are dumb.
my gf happened to be lulzily dressing up as edward cullen (lulzily for the lulz) as I sent her a picture of me bleaching my hair (hence, draco malfoy.) Then she raped it with photoshop, and it spawned this monstrosity of a love-child.

btw, the glitter on her face is mad eup of a cut-up pop-tart wrapper.

pic related; its me.